Infernal Refugee Rag

I’ve got a little time left and nothing to lose. You have too much of both. Everything you do is contingent on your future; I have none. You must take care; I will take advantage. You pay your tithe in hypocrisy. You’re invested. I’m busted. But I won’t go away. I’m that crank with the uncertain means of income. I’m your village atheist. I won’t humor your gods, and I’m ten feet tall. I am familiar and unsettling, something you’ve heard of but have never seen. I’m always there, in the back, glowering, moving through the dim edge of the mass. My features are never clear to you, always in shadow…

You have bought in, like everyone else, to get by; you have incurred an unexpected debt. I am here to collect. No more payment in the counterfeit that is your condescension–I’ll break your legs. We had a trust, you and I. You declared it invalid, and me contemptible; I am the perpetual loser. But what happens when the game is up? I am of the psychic barrens left behind by your rapacious bacchanal. Those wastes are always with me. You don’t know shit. I want to bring them to you. You pass me on the street, looking away in distaste; I grab you by the collar, pin you up against the wall; listen here you bastards…

The old neighborhood rises up around us; I am momentarily overcome; you try to break free but I have the strength of the manic and I hold you by the neck at arms length, your legs squirming in air, with one hand while wiping my averted eyes with the other…

You owe me an explanation. I am your incorrigible white trash, your embarrassing relations, your loud neighbors overhead going at it, fighting, fucking, going mad. Trust your instinct; don’t come up to complain. I will be gone soon enough. Then you’ll miss me. You haven’t met my understudy. Just wait…

Yes, wait here a while. I’m just getting started.

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