"All the News that’s Irrelevant"

It’s important in these times of crisis to not forget the important things, like black women’s hair:

Niani Barracks usually tends to clients at a salon in Detroit, but now that she must stay indoors because of the coronavirus pandemic, she has been running her fingers through the hair of a mannequin head affixed to a stand in her home, as a dozen other black women, who paid $5 each, watch her on Facebook Live.

In one video, Ms. Barracks gently cradles three strands of hair between her fingers as she explains how to start a braid.

The skill is essential for many black women trying to keep their hair healthy while they practice social distancing. Braids are the foundation of many protective hairstyles, like wigs and hair extensions.

One positive effect of all this social distancing means black people won’t be oppressed by white people asking to touch their hair, at least.

I have personally never witnessed a white person asking to touch black hair and have never heard a white in private express fascination with black hair, but–seeing as black people and social justice theorists are such dependable sources of truth–I’ll assume there’s at least one horrible whitey out there asking to touch black hair; maybe like Johnny Carson’s old joke about Christmas fruitcake: there’s only one out there, people just keep passing it around.

Soon we’ll be down to the last white “racist” and all the assholes out there are going to have to share.

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